Yours Truly, The Overthinker | 3 Things I've Found Helpful

I’m way overdue for a blog post… I decided to take an unplanned, but much needed break, and I’m glad I did!

I realized that I’ve been dealing with quite a bit of self-imposed overwhelm, and it was increasingly causing me more and more anxiety. Thankfully, last month my therapist reminded me of the importance of prioritization and in the days following my session, I was able to be more focused and productive than I had been in weeks!

What made the difference? Focusing on fewer things. Such a novel idea, I know lol. But man… actually putting it in practice? Made a world of difference.

So today I want to share 3 things that I’ve found helpful to give my overactive brain some structure and help me move through overthinking paralysis.

ONE

Brain dump- often. I write out everything that’s swirling around in my mind causing me anxiety… often it’s very task heavy, but this helps because it can act as a master list of sorts, so that I can reference ideas, actual to-dos, goals, etc.

When everything is all in mind, determining priority is hard because it all feels like it needs to get done NOW! Seeing things in writing helps me organize what needs to be done today/this or next week/month, what requires further planning, etc.

When I don’t do this, I bounce from one thing to the next and don’t finish projects. Then I end up feeling frustrated because I’m moving from one “urgent” thing to the next, and hardly ever get to the important things.

TWO

Shrink my daily to do list to be a realistic estimation of what I can do given the size of the project and my energy. This is really important because although I CAN get a lot done when I have a lot of energy, I need to plan for the far more realistic likelihood of having low energy. Setting my sights a little lower helps me to actually accomplish what I set out to do instead of being disappointed that I didn’t get to the 17 things on my list (that was unrealistic to begin with).

A book I started the year excited about (Mini Habits: Smaller Habits, Bigger Results) referenced this principle- setting a small goal and then crushing it, as opposed to a huge one and being disappointed when you inevitably don’t make it. It’s SO easy for me to read and agree that these things make sense, but quite another to actually DO them and feel the effectiveness. But it’s pretty cool when I’m actually able to put it in practice.

Three

With that in mind, another thing that’s been super helpful is to break down the to do list even further. This helps me realistically estimate how much time may be needed for something and gives a boost when I can cross something off my list even if the whole project isn’t complete.

Here's an example- I need to clean my room. That could be good enough to go on the to-do list, but if that will be a large project, why not break it down even further?

-Organize shoes
-Hang up clothes
-Vacuum floor
-Organize dresser
-Sort clothes to wash
-Wash clothes
-Fold clothes
Etc…

You see what I mean? This was a real life example because I did need to clean my room and planning out things like this was really helpful. I didn’t finish everything in one day, but I was able to cross out a few things on the list and feel super accomplished.

By no means am I saying that I’ve mastered productivity, anxiety, and overwhelm- or that any of these are new ideas, I just wanted to share a few things that I’ve found helpful.

Over the past few weeks I’ve been able to move with a little more intention and I’m hopeful that I can start to make progress on the projects I’ve had “in the works” for some time. If you have a mind prone to overthinking as well, I hope you’ve found some of these things helpful too!

10 Things I've Learned in 10 Years

After counting down for the past month, today marks the official 10 Year Anniversary of DFinney Photography! It’s really the “unofficial” official anniversary 😆I was laid off the day before I turned 22, so I decided to make my business anniversary the same day as my birthday so that I would remember lol.

The past 10 years have been full of highs and lows, both personally and professionally, but I can say that I am incredibly thankful for the journey and the lessons I’ve learned. Today, in celebration of 10 years, I want to share a few of the things I’ve learned along the way:

10. Everything can’t happen at once.
This one thing could be numbers 1-10 because this is a near constant reminder. My default is to want to do everything NOW, but I’ve learned that 1) not only is that not feasible, 2) it’s extremely frustrating and overwhelming, and on the occasions where I am able to do a lot at once, 3) it’s not sustainable. So I’m still very much learning how to pace this brain of mine to get plans in place for maximum effectiveness.

9. It’s okay to move at my own pace.
This didn’t used to be much of an issue for me because for a long time, I DID move at my own pace and I was okay with it! Then the sneaky comparison monsters crept in and I started second guessing myself, being critical, and generally feeling like I wasn’t doing enough. But I had (and have) to remind myself that my journey is my own. I deal with my own unique challenges and it’s okay to slow down or take a break when I need to. In the moment it can be tough to overpower the negative thoughts, so I have to remind myself of this often. Which leads me to #8…

8. It’s hard to stop comparing myself to others.
Harder than I would like to admit, honestly. Social media has become such an integral part of our lives, especially for photographers, and man. If I’m not careful, with no effort, I can end up in a mindless scroll and end up feeling like a terrible failure! So how do I remedy that? Well a few things: I have to be mindful about who I follow and the content that I consume. I unfollow/mute anything that makes me feel bad. And often it’s not the content itself that’s the problem- it’s me! So that’s really only the first step. The next is for me to think about why it makes me feel the way it does (instead of dismissing the uncomfortable feeling), and see how it connects (or if it does) to something I need to work on. Now I’m not saying that I do this perfectly every time, but it is my goal because managing my mental health is really important, so I need to be intentional with how I use my time on social media to minimize the impact of comparison monsters.

7. I really value the work that I do and the people I do it for.
No, it didn’t take 10 years for me to learn this, but each time I work with a new or repeat client, I am exceedingly grateful that I have the privilege of doing something that I love AND helping others in the process. It brings me so much joy when clients tell me how much fun they had during their session and how much they love their photos, when I see brand clients’ photos in action on their websites and social media, and when I’m able to work with longtime repeat clients again and again. It really never gets old, and I feel at a loss for words for the deep gratitude that I have.

6. It’s okay to be vulnerable.
Prior to 2016, I may have felt differently about this one. But deciding to open up about my mental illness and being willing to #talkaboutuncomfortablethings has really been one of the best things I could have done. Because of sharing my story, I’ve been able to connect on a deeper level with others, receive (and provide) support, and in general be a more authentic person. The human experience is not one dimensional and it’s a privilege to not only share my experiences, but to hold space for others when they do as well. Although it’s not easy, I highly recommend it.

5. It’s important to honor what I like.
Overall, but specifically when it comes to my photography style, service offerings, etc because if I don’t enjoy what I do, what’s the point in having my own business? In the early years it was easy to allow myself to be swayed by what potential clients may have wanted from me, but I’m so thankful that I learned the value in leading with what I like because that has helped me align with the right people.

4. Try not to worry about making everything SO perfect.
This is still very much a work in progress. A while ago, I read some variation of the thought- “perfectionism is procrastination in a suit”. It’s not a direct quote (I looked it up for who to credit, and I can’t find it) but either way, it stuck with me. I am very much a perfectionist and although it can serve me well at times because I’m meticulous and very detail oriented, those same qualities can be a huge hindrance. It’s taken me entirely too long to get the ball rolling on certain things because I want them to be PERFECT. Knowing that perfect doesn’t exist, matters not lol. I’m still learning that done is better than perfect, but it’s a very deeply ingrained habit that’s going to take some time to overcome.

3. I really like making lists.
I feel so inspired and organized and on top of things when I’m making lists. Planning things out, getting logistics in order… “yeah, this is gonna be so great!” and… well, actually doing the things? 🤦🏽‍♀️It’s only recently that I was honest enough with myself to admit that it’s a fancy procrastination technique. While I haven’t figured out how to remedy it just yet (because lists are important), I have become more aware of the need to be realistic and try not to make super ambitious to-do lists.

2. Taking care of my health needs to be a priority.
For a long time it wasn’t and then I had no choice for it to be top priority. Now that I’m not in a crisis, it can be easy to bump to the back burner, but man. So much will suffer if my physical, mental, and spiritual health are neglected. It is still hard to manage everything that I need to be well, but I’m learning firsthand that wellness is a journey. Finding the working style/schedule that works best, the right therapist, exercise routine, diet, etc… it takes time to find what works. And I’m learning to be patient with myself and celebrate small victories.

1. I need help.
Despite what I’d like to think, I can’t do everything alone. And honestly, I’ve known. But actually DOING something about it? That’s new. That’s new new. This is number 1 because honestly it touches almost every one of the aforementioned points, but I HAVE to move past my fears and get a team in place before the end of the year is out. I literally don’t have the bandwidth to do everything myself as I did in the beginning and my way of operating is currently more of a hindrance than a help. So next week I will finally share what this looks like (I need 1-4 people) and the application will be available if you’d like to work with me.

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Whew. Those are my 10 things!

It was hard to narrow them down initially because I had so many things in mind, but I think this is a really accurate reflection of where I am currently. I’m immensely grateful for my wonderful family, friends, clients, mentees, and colleagues for their love and support over the last 10 years. And if you don’t fall into one of those categories, I am thankful for you too! Thank you for taking the time to read this post and for keeping up with my work 🖤

Over the next few weeks, I have some more cool things to share with you so I’d be honored if you joined the mailing list to keep up with me!

Now this post has officially gone on much longer than I anticipated, but I thank you again, truly.

2013 to 2018 | Countdown to 10 Years!

Ya’ll. August is done!

I meant to peek in here a bit sooner, but we’ll just finish strong with a super full recap of 2013 through 2018!

This has been a really fun project to share with you guys and the feedback on facebook and instagram has been dope! I’m doing my best to respond to your comments 😅

Now, let’s pick up where we left off, with the 2013 through 2018 recap!

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2013

This year was full of engagement sessions! I also tried my hand at business lifestyle imagery and I really enjoyed it! It was fun taking business photos with a bit more personality than your typical formal headshot.

Style
In 2013, I was becoming aware of more things while I was shooting- like making sure that photos were not just technically correct, but that my subjects LOOKED comfortable, that was really important to me and still is today! I incorporated a few styled shoots here and there for experimentation and it was really cool seeing my work improve in real time.

Equipment
Nikon D700 and the 50/f1.4 and 35/f1.4 lenses. I sold the 85 because it didn’t fit with how I was shooting at the time.

Services
I began offering mentoring sessions! I dipped my toes into the teaching pool in Nov of 2012, but quickly realized that several modifications were needed. The program has been revised more over the years, but I remember really falling in love with teaching in 2013. It was very cool seeing my mentees’ photos improve in real time and an honor to help them along in their natural light photography journey 💛

2014

2014 was a really busy year- full of ALL of the things: teaching, weddings, engagements, families, maternity, and lots of travel. Looking back, I can’t believe that I did as much as I did, but it was a joy to work with so many wonderful clients. Despite the exhaustion that came from so much travel, I’m really glad I had the opportunity to do it.

Style
I tried to be a bit more intentional with how I planned for my client sessions. I would prep beforehand by reviewing ideas on Pinterest or referencing photos I had saved elsewhere so that I could have something to build on when I was with my client. I also worked more to allow the personality of my clients to shine as opposed to trying to get them into poses that didn’t really fit their vibe.⠀

Equipment
Nikon D700 and the 50/f1.4 and 35/f1.4 lenses. For weddings, my brother shot with the Nikon D700 as well, but he used the 24-70/f2.8 zoom and 135/f2 lenses.

Services
In 2014 I held my very first workshops, and subsequently determined that they weren’t for me lol. I also held my first group mentoring sessions and that became a staple for the next few years. The big new thing for 2014 was weddings! I had previously shot weddings with my brother as his second shooter but when he decided to discontinue AJ Finney Fine Wedding Imagery, he said that he would shoot with me if I decided to offer weddings, so we did! It was an excellent collaboration because he likes the documentary style of photography that’s perfect for wedding days and I love portraits, so we each shined in our respective areas.

2015

Style
I think 2015 was the year I noticed myself REALLY leaning into my love affair with color harmony. I really enjoyed curating my photo sessions and making sure that they had a warm and cohesive feel.

Equipment
The same as 2014! Although occasionally I would use the 20/f1.8 lens for weddings if needed.

Services
I held 30 mentoring sessions in 10 cities and honestly, in retrospect, I was doing THE most (for me). I realized that high travel was not for me so moving forward I toned that down a bit. It's funny though how everything is relative because to some this isn't much travel at all, but 2015 taught me a lot about listening to my body (or more accurately, what happens when I don’t 🙃) and finding what works for me.⁠

2016

In 2016, things got real. I started to #talkaboutuncomfortablethings after I was diagnosed with depression and later, bipolar 2 disorder. The year started on a HARD note and I took a step back from work. After a couple months, I started shooting again because I realized that I needed it. It was really helpful (and a privilege!) to be able to create beautiful things and bring joy to others despite how I was feeling.

Style
I can’t say that I made any real (or I should say, intentional) progress with my work this year because honestly, most days were spent just trying to function. I feel like I was often on auto-pilot when it came to work, so thankfully my previous years of practice kicked in to keep me afloat and provide glimmers of creativity when I needed it.

Equipment
Nikon D700 + 50/f1.4 and 35/f1.4 lenses.

Services
I was no longer offering wedding photography, and I greatly reduced my travel and the number of mentoring sessions that I was offering. I also started a small side project selling a curated collection of headwraps. It was cool for a hot second, but definitely not something I wanted to keep up with so #dfinneyheadwraps lived a very short life lol.⁠⠀

2017

Style
For the most part my style was fairly consistent by this point when it came to my use of light and color, but I began to try and focus more on capturing moments instead of perfectly curating everything (which I can tend to do by default). And honestly that’s something I’m still working on now!

Equipment
Nikon D700 with the 50/f1.4 and 35/f1.4 lenses. I also reintroduced the 85/f1.8 lens back into the arsenal!

Services
I started a personal photo project inspired by what I was dealing with (re: my mental health struggles). Named after the hashtag I created- #talkaboutuncomfortablethings, this was a way for me to kind of depict some of the feelings I was dealing with, in photo form- and I was actually able to share it at a solo art show in Dallas!

2018

Style
My goal remained very similar to what it was in 2017- aiming to capture more authentic moments. Where I think the biggest change happened was with my editing. I still processed my photos in a similar way, but I became more detail oriented in Lightroom & Photoshop- resulting in (in my opinion) a flawless final product.⠀

Equipment
I was a bit all over the place with my equipment this year. I was primarily shooting with my Nikon D700, but as I tried to figure out what my next camera would be, I rented the D610, D750, D800, and D810. And used those with my 50/f1.4, 35/f1.4, and 85/f1.4 lenses.

Services
Limited wedding photography services were now available as well. But instead of traditional weddings, I was now specializing in photography for small/intimate weddings and elopements. Business photography also saw a definite increase and it was a joy to work with so many creative professionals!

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Whew! So let me tell you something… Although this seemed like a great idea in July, when I sat down and actually started to bring this to life- pulling images, trying to remember where I was creatively, and sharing blurbs from each year… I no longer thought it was such a great idea lol.

It was a good idea, but I definitely underestimated the work that was going to go into what initially started out as a way to help me see that 10 years is a pretty big deal! I’m thankful that I did it though. It’s been super fun chatting with you guys about things and reading your comments on facebook and instagram!

Check out the entire month-long countdown to 10 years by viewing the hashtag #10yearsofdfinney or by visiting @dfinneyphoto on instagram!

What’s next? Well DFinney Photography’s actual 10 Year Anniversary of course :)

2009 to 2012 | Countdown to 10 Years!

On August 1, I started a month long countdown to my 10 year anniversary on September 3!

Check out the first 12 days and see upcoming posts by following the hashtag #10yearsofdfinney on instagram!

While I am sharing insights re: finding and refining my style, process, equipment, etc in the captions of each post, I wanted to share a bit more on the blog as well. The idea to even do a countdown in the first place was born out of me trying to combat negative thinking- I wasn’t feeling like 10 years had any significance (I know that’s not true), but I had to remind myself of how far I’ve come, so this was a way to both do that AND share the photo journey with you :) So let’s dive in!

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2009 (and earlier)

Although the official start of DFinney Photography was in 2009, my photo journey began a few years before, where my original interest in graphic design and photo editing eventually moved me to be more interested in the photo side of things.

Style
Much of my early work was VERY heavy on the editing because that’s literally why I wanted to take pictures- to have something to edit. Before I began taking pictures of anyone else, I was quite into creative self-portraits :) Eventually I wanted to take photos of others, and later still I began to pay more attention to composition, color, and light to try to have photos that didn’t need AS much editing, but it was still a very big part of my work at the time.

Equipment
When I began, I shot with any digital camera I could use. I had a small Fuji FinePix camera, I used a Canon PowerShot camera from work… eventually my brother purchased the Fuji S9100 (it was a digital camera resembling a DSLR, but did not have a detachable lens). Beginning in 2009, I was shooting with the Nikon D80, my brother’s 24-70mm f/2.8 lens, and then the 50mm f/1.4.

2010

2010 was my first official year in business. I had no idea what I was doing, I just knew that I enjoyed it. But with each situation I dealt with, it helped me to begin to put things in place to help me operate a little more efficiently.

Style
I was still in touch with my digital art roots when it came to editing, but I was beginning to be drawn towards a clean and bright look. However, I wasn't skilled (or confident) enough to say THIS is my style. I tailored a lot of what I did to what people wanted and still had a strong desire to experiment with different looks- so that's what I did.

Equipment
Early 2010, I was still shooting with my brother’s D80, but I bought my first camera in Spring 2010- the Nikon D300s. I also started to realize that I like shooting with prime lenses, so I would tend to use the 50/1.4 primarily, and occasionally my brother’s 20/1.8 lens. Having access to my brother’s photography equipment was a real bonus in the beginning because photography equipment is not cheap!

Services
I literally wanted to shoot everything (but weddings) so I did just that! The goal was to see what I liked and modify my services if/where needed. I quickly found that newborns were not it lol. I didn’t have the patience or skill needed for it so I swiftly removed that as an option. At the time I also offered photos for infants on colorful printed backdrops that I would bring and set up. Eventually I realized that that wasn’t really moving me either, so I stopped offering that as an option and just stuck to on-location shooting.

2011

2011 was a year of intentional experimentation. I was so inspired by fashion editorials and well curated photo shoots that I decided to try my hand at them.

Style
This was a milestone year for me because I began to look at things differently and explore a more intentional approach with my photography. It would be some time though before I would confidently feel that what I was doing was “my style” because I was still very experimental.⠀

Equipment
Nikon D300s. In addition to the 50/1.4 and 20/1.8 lenses, I added 35/1.8 to the arsenal.

Services
Alongside photography, I was also offering design services at this time. That’s originally why I named my business DFinney Photography & Design because I planned to do both.

2012

Style
2012 was the year I can say I felt a bit more settled in my style (clean & vibrant) and confident that I could execute it- especially since I began to work with makeup artists regularly- including professional makeup absolutely improved the quality of my images.

Equipment
Late 2012, I made the shift to a full frame body and upgraded to the D700. I also added the 85/1.8 to my arsenal so my go-to lenses were now the 50, 35, and sometimes the 85. It would take a while for me to completely get on board with the 85 though, because I preferred the look of the 50 and 35 lenses.

Services
This was about the time I was phasing out design work. I still offered it in limited capacity, but I shifted to only offering photo-based designs as opposed to what I’d been doing previously so that I could focus more on my photography.

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Ya’ll. This mini recap made me a little emotional. There have been so many iterations of DFinney Photography over the years and seeing the growth in one place like this is pretty darn cool! I hope you enjoyed this first part of the countdown, that you will keep up over on the gram, and stay tuned for the upcoming recaps here on the blog as well 💛

Angel- The Spice Suite | Makers Series

Today’s featured maker is definitely one of the folks that inspired the start of this project for me. She was the very first maker I photographed (she was a few months pregnant with her baby spice girl at the time of our shoot :) and is one of the most consistently inspiring women I know!

Meet Angel Gregario of the Spice Suite!

I first learned of Angel and the Spice Suite in 2016 when I randomly came across her instagram (thanks IG algorithm!) and fell in love with everything she posted- and I do mean everything. From the spice mixes she shared, to the meals she prepared… everything looked SO good! Not only that, but I could tell that she had such a dope vibe and a warm personality. So when I finally made my way to the Spice Suite, it was so great to connect with the woman behind it all and experience the interactive spice bar for myself. Long story short-her spices MAKE me enjoy cooking!

Since then, it has been a joy to work with Angel and see so many new people learn of her awesomeness! In addition to traveling the world for unique spices and creating amazing new blends, her space functions as an incubator for other black owned businesses to host daily pop-ups- the core group of these are affectionately known as the SpiceGirls (one of which was featured during this series- Maya :)

Angel has been featured on Martha Stewart, Essence, XO Necole, and countless other media outlets, with regular appearances on local DC news stations.

Angel is an absolutely brilliant maker who loves what she does and that joy is infectious! It is an honor to include her in this series.

Note: Although this feature gives you a peek into her process, if you’re interested in learning more about Angel’s story, check out her interview with previously featured Nicaila on the SideHustlePro podcast (linked at the end of this post).

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Your spice blends are so delicious and unique! What guides your decision-making when it comes to what products you will offer?

Food is fashion. I don’t believe in rules or restrictions when it comes to what I wear or eat. That motto permeates my life. I like to experiment and bring my customers flavors they may not ever imagine mixed with some classic staples. There are some favs you can’t get away from but there’s sooo much fun to be had in the new.

Walk us through the creation process. What does it look like from idea to final product for one of your spice or sauce blends?

This question is a little different for me. I don’t sit and write out spice recipes beforehand. I don’t research or read, I don’t have rules. I encourage my guests to engage in the same way. I largely draw on my motto “food is fashion” and play around. When traveling the world for blends, I go first with what looks interesting and fun, then smell, and then taste.

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What is the most fulfilling aspect of owning The Spice Suite?

The freedom of owning my time and being able to show my children the world- literally. Traveling the world with them for spices while making a stop at the pyramids in Egypt. Like- I could never have thought this would be my life!

I first found you via social media a few years ago, and since then, thousands more have as well! As your business and social media following continue to grow, how do you balance your time and manage this tool?

I respect and acknowledge feedback from my social media followers, but I also have very clear boundaries and I make them clear. I’m very transparent with them about what I will/won’t do. While my business is growing, I still make decisions in the best interest of the business and my peace. We recently decided to close on Tuesdays because it’s slow. Folks didn’t love that idea but it makes sense. I also don’t have a traditional online shop. That drives my followers out of state crazy. I have a SpiceBox that we release each month though and folks can access a variety of products. So I basically try to reconcile their concerns while not compromising my time in a way that would jeopardize my business and freedom. I’m here to be free, not bound by opinion.

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As a small business owner, sometimes motivation can ebb and flow. What slows you down and how do you overcome it?

I’m rarely slowed down. I try to create my own flow, I don’t yield to expectations of others. That keeps me up for the most part.

What's been your favorite entrepreneurial highlight so far?

Being able to provide space for so many other creatives to pop up. To date, we’ve hosted about 300 small black owned businesses. And of course my SpiceGirls. There’s no me without them.

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What's the most important thing you've learned so far about yourself as a maker?

I’m more creative than I thought lol. I never considered myself creative.

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I hope you enjoyed learning getting to know a little more about Angel! If this is your first introduction to the Spice Suite, you are in for a treat when you check out the links below :)

Keep up with Angel online: Visit her website: https://www.thespicesuite.com, and follow her on instagram and facebook- she’s @thespicesuite everywhere. Additionally, check out her previous interviews on the SideHustlePro and hey, girl. podcasts.

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Now for a few housekeeping announcements: This is the end of the Makers Series (for now :)

For the past 3 months, I have enjoyed featuring some of the amazing black & brown women makers in my network. Over the next few weeks however, I have some exciting things I will be sharing with you so I am pressing pause on this series, and it will return soon.

If you missed any of the previous features, no worries- you can check them all out here (or by clicking the ‘MAKERS’ tab up there on the menu bar). I have some great folks lined up for the return of the Makers Series, so stay tuned! And if you’ve been loving the photos that accompany these features and want a makers photo session for yourself, check out the details here.

Thanks for rocking with me and showing love to this passion project of mine 🖤