The Struggle With... | Mental Health Monday

I battle often with what to share and what not to (most things don't get shared), but the fact that I even have those thoughts because I'm worried what people think, gets on my nerves.  

Sharing "the struggle" (with depression, anxiety, bipolar- whatever your mental illness may be) is hard. REALLY hard. But how else will your tribe be able to provide you with the support you need? And how else will the stigma be broken?  

I don't want it to seem like I'm all doom and gloom and my life sucks, because it doesn't. And I know that. I am immensely thankful for the support that I have. Loving family and friends. For the fact that I'm able to make a living doing work that I love. That I have a roof over my head, food to eat, a car to drive... just to name a few. Blessings I do not take lightly, so when I share something about my day being hard, it is not discounting those things. I'm just talking about the difficulty of living with *this*. And I'm talking about it because few others are.  

Even with that though, there's this "thing", this unspoken thing where I worry that people are tired of hearing about this. Tired of the "awareness" and wish I would stop talking about it. This may be (and I'm sure it partially is) projecting, but the feeling is still there. I do wish I was better. I do wish I didn't have to deal with these thoughts and feelings, mood and energy shifts... But I do, and countless others do too. And we can't do this alone. I don't WANT to do this alone.

So... I'll continue to do my part by TALKING about it. Things won't change unless we #talkaboutuncomfortablethings. I've had so many people reach out since my first post back in March, and I can't tell you how much that means to me. Folks dealing with mental health issues themselves, folks wanting to offer support where they can... none of this would be possible if I kept up the facade that everything was okay.

It's okay to not be okay.

I'm still learning this, but each time I share, each time I accept assistance and encouragement, each time I give assistance and encouragement, the lesson is reinforced.

So I challenge you this week... Speak up if you're feeling overwhelmed. Speak up if you feel like you're crumbling, unsure of how to cope... Be honest with the people in your life that you love and that love you. Stop pretending to have it all together. And you'll see how "freeing" that is. Not completely obviously, but having that extra layer of facade removed will be one less burden to bear. From there, maybe you'll feel stronger to be open with more people. You'll be surprised at how much untapped support you have 💚 

-Danni

P.S. If you feel like sharing publicly, use the hashtag #talkaboutuncomfortablethings, I'd love to help support where I can as well.

August Articles | Mental Health Monday

Good Monday morning to you loves 💚 Welcome to... wait. My goodness... how is... it... August?!

I started writing this and was about to say welcome to a new week, but nope! It's a whole new MONTH! This year is certainly flying by and I'm not even mad. It hasn't been the best one for me, so each day, week, and month that passes by, I'm just thankful to be here.

Which brings me to today's post! I think I'm going to start doing at least one "Mental Health Monday" post a month. So far I'm 2 for 2 so we'll see how long I can keep this up :)

Today I wanted to share some recent articles I've come across that have been super helpful to me, in the hopes that you may find them comforting or enlightening as well...

Every time I read an article that expresses things I've felt/feel, but haven't quite been able to put into words, it brings a sense of relief- to finally have those feelings articulated, to know that I'm not alone, and to once again be reminded that mental illness is nothing to be ashamed of. We are all struggling, and it always helps to know you're not in this alone.

I am thankful for these beautiful souls who have bared their feelings and allowed themselves to be vulnerable in a way that connects them to others dealing with the same struggles 💚 

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Does That Make Me Crazy? Living With Bipolar II

"Living with a mental illness is a study in survival. Every day, every emotion is questioned. What is this? Am I happy or am I starting to head towards mania? Is this an honest sadness or is my brain breaking again? Why is it breaking now? What is so different now than yesterday? Why me? Why this?”

I've talked before about my deep appreciation for Bassey, and today is no different. My bipolar diagnosis is still not one I'm used to claiming, let alone understanding. But it plays such a huge role in my moods, my decision making, and my overall way of approaching life, so the more I learn about it, the more I learn about me. Reading Bassey's writing always feels so familiar because I can relate to a lot of what she speaks about, but she is able to articulate it far better than I could have.

6 Things People With Mental Illness Might Be Scared To Admit

"Sometimes I try to dismantle my own happiness because I don’t feel worthy or good enough – like I can’t live up to the expectations of being healthy – and it feels easier to relapse and let things fall apart with no room to disappoint myself or anyone else."

This was a painfully honest read, but Sam nails every single one of these. That first one? Hit me like a ton of bricks. I know I've felt this way (and can see it in some of my life decisions), but to see it articulated this way was really tough. It made me realize that, every day, I have to challenge the lies that my brain says are facts. Although I can't relate fully to each of these 6 things, I sincerely appreciate his candidness in sharing this list and his personal experiences along the way. 

To Those Who Are Exhausted From Living With a Mental Illness

"One aspect of living with a mental illness very few people talk about is the exhaustion you feel after completing simple day-to-day activities. Just getting out of bed is sometimes the hardest thing to overcome. Then, you have to complete simple tasks like brushing your teeth, changing your clothes... All the while, you are fighting your gut instinct to simply crawl back into bed and be done with the whole process."

^ THIS. THIS. THIS. ^

This is one of the toughest things about depression. EVERYTHING is exhausting. Existing is exhausting. Not living... just existing. It takes so.much.energy to do the most basic things. On top of that, your brain STILL criticizes you for not being productive- knowing it doesn't even have the energy to do so. It's a vicious cycle. One that I'm learning to manage. But some days? Some days, simply making it through the day is the achievement itself.

The One Thing I Will Never Get Used to as a Person With Depression

"Stop letting people tell you to choose happiness. The darkness in your mind isn’t wired to an on/off switch you can control. I know that isn’t always the case. But today, even if you aren’t smiling, you are living. Keep making that choice."

I have no doubt that positive thinking helps. I know it does. But when something is broken, you can't simply tell the thing to start working again. That's how it feels when people give you that "well-meaning" advice. Sometimes, a little more than that is needed. 

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As I've mentioned in previous posts, since deciding to share my diagnoses, my goal has been to keep the conversation on mental health going and do my part to break the stigma surrounding mental illness. That's where posts like these come in.

My hope is that even if you are not personally dealing with a mental illness yourself, maybe these articles will help you to understand what it is like and to be a bit more empathetic to your family members, friends, co-workers, classmates, associates, etc who ARE coping with depression, anxiety, bipolar disorder, or any other mental illness.

We could all use a little more kindness 💚 

Did you appreciate any of these articles? I'd love to hear what you thought about them as well!

I hope you have a beautiful Monday and first day of August.

-Danni

#NoShameDay | Mental Health Monday

Happy Monday to you  💚 

Today is #NoShameDay, an initiative launched by The Siwe Project- a global non-profit dedicated to promoting mental health awareness throughout the global black community, founded by writer Bassey Ikpi. #NoShameDay is a campaign that focuses on stigma reduction through storytelling and community building.

I became familiar with Bassey's mental healthy advocacy a couple years ago, prior to my diagnoses, and I was always drawn to her writing. Since being diagnosed earlier this year, I relate a little more fully to her and I deeply appreciate how she is able to beautifully articulate this not-so-beautiful struggle. It is incredibly helpful because not only am I able to understand where she's coming from, but I sincerely appreciate her sharing in the first place.

Which leads me to #NoShameDay. I can absolutely say that Bassey's mental health advocacy has encouraged me to do the same and I am so very thankful, and even happier to support her initiative!

Living with bipolar depression, ADD, and some OCD tendencies has not been (and will not be) an easy journey, but I can say that sharing and talking about it, has definitely helped. The stigma surrounding mental illness is damaging. Damaging because it keeps people from seeking help. Damaging because it causes unnecessary silence and lack of support for those suffering... And it can only be remedied by TALKING about it! So I'm doing my part.

If you're new to the blog, you can check out my previous posts on this topic from the past few months:

The Truth About My Absence
Originally appearing here.

Don't Stop Talking About It

May is Mental Health Month

Progress

This past week was a tough one and I had to reach out for some positive reinforcement. The idea to even do so came from a post Bassey made the week prior, and it really resonated with me. Why do we feel like we need to do this alone? I don't know, but it's a mental block I have to actively work at overcoming constantly. 

In light of the tumultuous world scene, my work seems so trivial. But I have such a tenuous grasp on sanity these days as it is, and I realize that I need to engage in intense self-care to stay afloat. Including but not limited to prayer, reading my bible, spending time in nature, and creating... 

It's kind of fitting that I've been drawn to being in and shooting more greenery lately. I didn't realize it, but green is the color for mental health awareness! 

I keep saying that I'm going to stop making these posts novel length, but I guess I should just learn to embrace my wordiness lol.

That's it for today.

If you haven't, please visit The Siwe Project's website to learn more and check out the #NoShameDay hashtags on the various social media platforms to read the stories and to share your support as well!

-Danni