The (not so) Little Things

“We’ll get there by making small adjustments, little by little and taking it one moment at a time.“

In last week’s post, I mentioned that I am working on making adjustments to get a healthier mode of operating going and today I wanted to share some of the “little things” that have been helping me along in that process!

Before I get to that though, I want to talk briefly about goals.

Ya’ll.

Goals are hard! At least for me they are.

Trying to identify and differentiate between what I want, what I need, what’s best for me… vs. societal influence, expectations others may have, and my own negative/limiting thoughts… THAT’S what’s hard.

Then attempting to visualize and break down said goals into actions while depressive thoughts attempt to suffocate them? Man.

When I tell you it’s a daily struggle, it is just that.

BUT I have found that shrinking my goals down to verrry small steps has been helpful in tricking my brain to have a bit less resistance to the changes.

How am I doing that?

Well, that leads me to what I want to share today- two books that I’ve found quite beneficial:

Master Your Time in 10 Minutes a Day and Mini Habits: Smaller Habits, Bigger Results.

These books have easily been some of the most helpful books I’ve read in quite some time. They take the “baby steps” concept and break it all the way down, showing you just HOW to do so.

For me, baby steps have always been hard because I want to do all of the things! Now! And sometimes I can! But… most times I can’t. And to be honest, not only is that not sustainable, but that’s not how lasting change happens. It happens gradually, and these books do a wonderful job at showing you how to harness that power.

This is the shorter of the two books and gives you a new way of thinking about not only time management, but life management. And how much you can really get done during the course of each day- when your goals are clear, and you set aside time (even a little time) for what’s important to you.

This book goes a little more in depth on the science behind why this method works (which I always find intriguing because I love learning more about how our brains work), and guides you through a few different ways that you can successfully implement mini habits into your daily routine.

What makes these so different from other habit books? In short, the fact that it encourages you to break down your goals so that they’re so stupidly small, you feel silly avoiding it. Not only that, but the fact that you’re making such small commitments, they bypass the brain’s natural inclination to resist change.

I know everyone’s journey is different, but whether you’re looking to make progress with your personal or professional development, daily habits are key. If you’ve struggled with trying to implement changes (which, I feel like we all have in some form or fashion), I highly suggest giving these a read, or a listen- they’re both on audible as well.

I’d love to hear what you think after you have a chance to check them out!

What are some “little things” (books or otherwise) that have been helpful to you in your efforts to make changes?

Reset | Truthy Tuesday

I had “big plans” for the fall of 2018. Then… I had big plans for winter 2018… Then, those turned into big plans for early 2019… And now? Well I’m not sure.

I’ve been so depressed, anxious, and distracted for much of… well truthfully, all of the past year, but I kept going. I kept pushing because I had no choice, or so I thought. I kept pushing because “that’s what you’re supposed to do”. Life doesn’t stop just because you’re going through it, so I picked up my pieces and kept going. Kept working, kept producing, kept trying… until I didn’t want to anymore.

I was tired. The heaviness became too much and it felt more harmful than helpful carrying on as “normal”, when I felt anything but… like I’d been limping along all year on a broken bone, not stopping to tend to the “injury”, rest, or give myself time to heal.

And just like a physical broken bone left untreated causes more damage, that’s exactly how I started to feel. My confidence, self-worth, and motivation (to name a few) took a serious hit. I began second guessing everything and every thought kept coming back to “eh, it doesn’t matter”, “I’m not good enough”, “no one cares”, “what’s the point”.

All lies.

But lies my depressed brain quickly latched onto, and made trying to execute anything feel downright impossible.

Although I managed to keep up with client work, that’s where the bulk of my energy was going, which left me little to do much else, so I knew things had to change.

A few months ago, I made the decision to take a shooting break from mid December to early February so that I could have time to rest, reset and try to get a healthier mode of operating going…

And.

Well, it’s not pretty, but it’s going.

I find that it’s easy to romanticize the idea of change, when the process of making changes is rarely a pretty one. It’s actually really hard.

And although coming to that realization can be discouraging, I’ve been trying to remind myself that betterment is a process that requires a notice of and an appreciation for the little things, even more so when managing life with a mental illness.

So why am I sharing this now? Well unfortunately I don’t have a happy ending- yet. But I really want to. And something tells me that I’m not alone in feeling how I do.

The start of a new year can bring up all kinds of feelings, but I’ve been having to constantly remind myself that I’m not on anyone else’s time frame, and maybe you have to do that too.

Although I’m disappointed that my mental health sometimes causes things to take a bit longer than I’d like, I’m not going to stop trying.

So I leave you with this word of encouragement: whatever changes you’re trying to make, I hope that you’re able to be patient with yourself. We’ll get there by making small adjustments, little by little and taking it one moment at a time.

Day 4 | Truthy Thursday

...It's been a slooow start to the new year for me.

This time is characteristically busy and full of excitement; New year, new opportunities, new goals! But all of that excitement seems to have been lost on me this time around.

Art by Fisayo Quadri

It all just feels like yet another day I have to muddle through. I know it is "just another day", but those "clean slate" feelings have escaped me completely, and I've been feeling kind of bad about that.

Honestly, it's still pretty tricky for me to actually "own" my bipolar 2 diagnosis and understand just how much it affects me :/ Sometimes I feel fine and I am able to get things done easily, be thoughtful, responsive... you know, normal adult things lol. Then (far more times), I feel quite the opposite of fine, and my accomplishments for the day are very minimal- just getting basic things done like: 

And not all of those things in one day lol. So while the world is excited about a new year, I'm just trying to manage consistently eating and actually getting out of bed when I wake up. 

Despite the daily mood and energy shifts, I am still chipping away at things and trying to be productive, so I guess that counts for something? It's just a long road to find exactly what works and what doesn't, so when I'm MIA for days or weeks at a time, that's why. I'm in the mix trying to figure this thing out... or just trying to make it through a crappy day.

While I inherently hope that 2018 will bring me closer to a better way of operating, I fully realize that it's going to take a LOT of effort, but I am ready for it and I look forward to seeing those improvements (no matter how small) in real time.

If you're feeling similarly about the new year, just know that you're not alone, and just like we got through 2017, we'll get through 2018. One day at a time 💚

-Danni

8 Years! | News & Updates

Good Thursday evening to you! Just stopping in with a lonnng overdue post...

It's been a while since my last update, but I've been busy trying to get my life together. Although I haven't made the effort lately to (publicly) #talkaboutuncomfortablethings, they are still very present. I began talking about my struggle living with mental illness last year when I was newly diagnosed, but this year I haven't done much sharing. Not because I am ashamed, I'm just tired. 

So much so, that every time I sat down to write this blog, it went a little something like this:

"Too busy managing to sit and talk about how you've been managing is very real." -Yodith D.

One step forward, three steps back, two to the side, a spin, and so goes the waltz with my mental health. Most times I don't know who the DJ is, much less what song is playing. So while my clients are taken care of, this post for a long while seemed like an immovable mountain that I could simply tip toe around. Jotting down an outline felt like too much. Selecting photos felt like too much. Typing coherent thoughts felt like too much... and now I kinda want to lie back down.

But I'm finallllly pushing through so... on with the updates:

---

First up? DFinney Photography turned 8 years old earlier this month.... Eight!

I also turned 30 this month, and honestly, I can hardly believe that I've been at it this long. The majority of my 20's! I'm learning more and more every day that time works in its own strange way and this past year is no exception.

My wonderful clients have kept me busier than EVER and I couldn't be more thankful. In addition to creating beautiful imagery with clients I've come to love, these past 8 years have connected me with other like minded individuals who have become invaluable! You have been patient with me in my vulnerability and I can't express how much that means to me. I am so thankful to be apart of such a loving and supportive community. 

"In the midst of the ups and downs you go through, I hope you never lose sight of how truly loved and admired you are." -Samia M.

---

What else, what else...oh yes! I was featured in the September/October 2017 issue of Click Magazine! 😬

I was contacted a few months back to do a short write-up and share a few photos for an article on my lifestyle business imagery! I'd honestly forgotten about it because things have been so hectic, but earlier this month I finally received the physical copy and I was ecstatic!

Like... this is an absolutely stellar publication. And to have MY work featured in it? I really can't fully express how much this means to me. It was an honor to be considered and I am so thankful for the opportunity!

---

Before I go, I want to remind you that tomorrow is the official start of Fall! Andddd Fall Minis are on the way!

Fall Minis are being held on Saturday, November 4th and Sunday the 5th!

Booking for Fall Minis will begin on Monday, October 2nd at 10:30am EDT for those on the mailing list, and Wednesday, October 4th for everyone else. Now because Fall Minis book VERY quickly, I would suggest you join the mailing list if you haven't already, but that's merely a suggestion... a strong one lol.

Interested? Check out more info here. Details listed are for the Summer Mini Special, but the pricing and package info is the same. Fall details will be added on October 1.

---

Well... I think that's it!

Thanks for hanging in there to the end with me :) I look forward to hearing from you soon and getting you on the calendar for your Fall session!

-Danni

I'm Tired | Truthy Tuesday

I am tired.

For the past few weeks, simply getting out of bed has been a larger accomplishment than I would have liked for it to be. 

Let alone keeping up with friends and family, blogging, social media, household chores, my spiritual routine, and other necessary responsibilities. Somehow I've been managing to keep up with my client work, so I'm thankful for that, it just takes a bit longer to get things done these days. 

Yesterday I saw a quote by Bassey on Twitter:

"I want to get better, not get by."

And I couldn't have worded it better.

I don't know if I'm still "buffering" and in recovery mode from a hectic Spring season, or if this is just a regularly scheduled dip.  Given the nature of my bipolar depression, I know the fog will eventually lift, but for me, those brief highs and moments of "okayness" (or even faux wellness), tend to make the lows feel that much lower. Because I know I CAN get out of bed, be productive, and make healthy decisions... so when I can't, it's that much more frustrating.

I know, I haven't yet learned the art of balance and patience with myself... I'm tired of just making it. Tired of not knowing what mood and energy levels will greet me from day to day. Tired of my response being "I'm tired" when someone asks how I'm doing because I'm too tired to even explain how I feel... Tired of having to push through, tired of looking for a "pause" button I can't seem to find.

In the midst of this daily discomfort, I am thankful for the love and support of my God, friends, and family. I haven't been doing a good job of being mindful of my blessings, and I know that will help. I actually know a LOT of things that will help, but finding the energy to do them is the problem. 😕  

I haven't given up though, and I guess that's what I have to learn to be okay with for now. 

-Danni