Writing has been hard this year.
…honestly, everything has.
Depression has stolen more days from me than I’d like to admit and while I’m still trying to do my best, it can be quite deceiving to have it “appear” that I’m doing well because I’m still able to be “productive”.
Productive in quotes because while one thing may be getting done, 3 (or more) others aren’t 🙃. It’s a constant struggle trying to allocate and re-allocate where my energy goes when it shows up (thanks bipolar II!), managing work (and allll the many facets that come with owning and operating your own business), relationships, and trying to find and fine tune a wellness routine.
It’s exhausting.
Although mental health is being spoken about more these days (which is a VERY good thing), getting help for your mental illness is not an easy journey. I was diagnosed over two years ago and even after receiving a diagnosis, it took me a while to seek additional help for managing it. Often I find myself reasoning “well, I’ve been ‘dealing’ with it for this long, and managing to get stuff done, so it can’t be that bad” and although it may not be “that bad”, it’s still not good.
I often feel like I want to give up, but I’m thankful to my friends and family that haven’t given up on me, and as a result, I haven’t given up on myself.
Progress is not linear.
It’s such a simple sentence, but one that I’m truly learning to understand through and through. And in doing so, I’m learning to find solace in the small improvements I’ve been able to make and keep trying to find the right things to get and keep me on the track to wellness.
Speaking of which… trying to find the *right* therapist is… a journey to say the least.
I was in therapy about 10 years ago for almost 3 years and had a pretty good experience! After my diagnosis in 2016, anxiety kept me from pursuing therapy again and when I finally did, I was a bit more optimistic than I realized, and that led to disappointment.
I didn’t have realistic expectations, nor was I clear on what I needed from a therapist. Now, I am. The only thing about that is that they are both things I needed to learn over time and after having spoken to different therapists (and spending money 🙃).
I say all that to say that while having a therapist is indeed an amazing addition to your mental wellness plan, just know that it may take you a few tries to find one that’s the best fit for you. If you’re wondering where to start your search, I’ve used both Open Path and Better Help. The jury’s still out on whether or not I feel that I need an in-person therapist, but I definitely think both services are really helpful!
This post has been a little long, but I guess that’s what happens when you don’t do a Truthy post for 6 months lol.
I will end by saying once more that I’m incredibly thankful for my tribe (both near and far) for hanging in there with me. Beyond finding a good therapist, the right medicinal cocktail if needed, a balanced diet, sleep, and exercise… a good support system is critical to helping manage mental illness.
I actually wrote a little about that in my friend Andrea’s (fourth!) book, We Inspire Me, that was just released this month! This was a bit of a lazy book announcement lol, but I just wanted to mention it briefly since I was talking about the same thing :)
Ok, now I’m fiiinally ending this post, and hopefully the next Truthy won’t be another 6 months from now 💛
-Danni