The (not so) Little Things

“We’ll get there by making small adjustments, little by little and taking it one moment at a time.“

In last week’s post, I mentioned that I am working on making adjustments to get a healthier mode of operating going and today I wanted to share some of the “little things” that have been helping me along in that process!

Before I get to that though, I want to talk briefly about goals.

Ya’ll.

Goals are hard! At least for me they are.

Trying to identify and differentiate between what I want, what I need, what’s best for me… vs. societal influence, expectations others may have, and my own negative/limiting thoughts… THAT’S what’s hard.

Then attempting to visualize and break down said goals into actions while depressive thoughts attempt to suffocate them? Man.

When I tell you it’s a daily struggle, it is just that.

BUT I have found that shrinking my goals down to verrry small steps has been helpful in tricking my brain to have a bit less resistance to the changes.

How am I doing that?

Well, that leads me to what I want to share today- two books that I’ve found quite beneficial:

Master Your Time in 10 Minutes a Day and Mini Habits: Smaller Habits, Bigger Results.

These books have easily been some of the most helpful books I’ve read in quite some time. They take the “baby steps” concept and break it all the way down, showing you just HOW to do so.

For me, baby steps have always been hard because I want to do all of the things! Now! And sometimes I can! But… most times I can’t. And to be honest, not only is that not sustainable, but that’s not how lasting change happens. It happens gradually, and these books do a wonderful job at showing you how to harness that power.

This is the shorter of the two books and gives you a new way of thinking about not only time management, but life management. And how much you can really get done during the course of each day- when your goals are clear, and you set aside time (even a little time) for what’s important to you.

This book goes a little more in depth on the science behind why this method works (which I always find intriguing because I love learning more about how our brains work), and guides you through a few different ways that you can successfully implement mini habits into your daily routine.

What makes these so different from other habit books? In short, the fact that it encourages you to break down your goals so that they’re so stupidly small, you feel silly avoiding it. Not only that, but the fact that you’re making such small commitments, they bypass the brain’s natural inclination to resist change.

I know everyone’s journey is different, but whether you’re looking to make progress with your personal or professional development, daily habits are key. If you’ve struggled with trying to implement changes (which, I feel like we all have in some form or fashion), I highly suggest giving these a read, or a listen- they’re both on audible as well.

I’d love to hear what you think after you have a chance to check them out!

What are some “little things” (books or otherwise) that have been helpful to you in your efforts to make changes?

Reset | Truthy Tuesday

I had “big plans” for the fall of 2018. Then… I had big plans for winter 2018… Then, those turned into big plans for early 2019… And now? Well I’m not sure.

I’ve been so depressed, anxious, and distracted for much of… well truthfully, all of the past year, but I kept going. I kept pushing because I had no choice, or so I thought. I kept pushing because “that’s what you’re supposed to do”. Life doesn’t stop just because you’re going through it, so I picked up my pieces and kept going. Kept working, kept producing, kept trying… until I didn’t want to anymore.

I was tired. The heaviness became too much and it felt more harmful than helpful carrying on as “normal”, when I felt anything but… like I’d been limping along all year on a broken bone, not stopping to tend to the “injury”, rest, or give myself time to heal.

And just like a physical broken bone left untreated causes more damage, that’s exactly how I started to feel. My confidence, self-worth, and motivation (to name a few) took a serious hit. I began second guessing everything and every thought kept coming back to “eh, it doesn’t matter”, “I’m not good enough”, “no one cares”, “what’s the point”.

All lies.

But lies my depressed brain quickly latched onto, and made trying to execute anything feel downright impossible.

Although I managed to keep up with client work, that’s where the bulk of my energy was going, which left me little to do much else, so I knew things had to change.

A few months ago, I made the decision to take a shooting break from mid December to early February so that I could have time to rest, reset and try to get a healthier mode of operating going…

And.

Well, it’s not pretty, but it’s going.

I find that it’s easy to romanticize the idea of change, when the process of making changes is rarely a pretty one. It’s actually really hard.

And although coming to that realization can be discouraging, I’ve been trying to remind myself that betterment is a process that requires a notice of and an appreciation for the little things, even more so when managing life with a mental illness.

So why am I sharing this now? Well unfortunately I don’t have a happy ending- yet. But I really want to. And something tells me that I’m not alone in feeling how I do.

The start of a new year can bring up all kinds of feelings, but I’ve been having to constantly remind myself that I’m not on anyone else’s time frame, and maybe you have to do that too.

Although I’m disappointed that my mental health sometimes causes things to take a bit longer than I’d like, I’m not going to stop trying.

So I leave you with this word of encouragement: whatever changes you’re trying to make, I hope that you’re able to be patient with yourself. We’ll get there by making small adjustments, little by little and taking it one moment at a time.

The Journey Continues | Truthy Thursday

Writing has been hard this year.

…honestly, everything has.

Depression has stolen more days from me than I’d like to admit and while I’m still trying to do my best, it can be quite deceiving to have it “appear” that I’m doing well because I’m still able to be “productive”.

Productive in quotes because while one thing may be getting done, 3 (or more) others aren’t 🙃. It’s a constant struggle trying to allocate and re-allocate where my energy goes when it shows up (thanks bipolar II!), managing work (and allll the many facets that come with owning and operating your own business), relationships, and trying to find and fine tune a wellness routine.

It’s exhausting.

Although mental health is being spoken about more these days (which is a VERY good thing), getting help for your mental illness is not an easy journey. I was diagnosed over two years ago and even after receiving a diagnosis, it took me a while to seek additional help for managing it. Often I find myself reasoning “well, I’ve been ‘dealing’ with it for this long, and managing to get stuff done, so it can’t be that bad” and although it may not be “that bad”, it’s still not good.

I often feel like I want to give up, but I’m thankful to my friends and family that haven’t given up on me, and as a result, I haven’t given up on myself.

Progress is not linear.

It’s such a simple sentence, but one that I’m truly learning to understand through and through. And in doing so, I’m learning to find solace in the small improvements I’ve been able to make and keep trying to find the right things to get and keep me on the track to wellness.

Speaking of which… trying to find the *right* therapist is… a journey to say the least.

I was in therapy about 10 years ago for almost 3 years and had a pretty good experience! After my diagnosis in 2016, anxiety kept me from pursuing therapy again and when I finally did, I was a bit more optimistic than I realized, and that led to disappointment.

I didn’t have realistic expectations, nor was I clear on what I needed from a therapist. Now, I am. The only thing about that is that they are both things I needed to learn over time and after having spoken to different therapists (and spending money 🙃).

I say all that to say that while having a therapist is indeed an amazing addition to your mental wellness plan, just know that it may take you a few tries to find one that’s the best fit for you. If you’re wondering where to start your search, I’ve used both Open Path and Better Help. The jury’s still out on whether or not I feel that I need an in-person therapist, but I definitely think both services are really helpful!

This post has been a little long, but I guess that’s what happens when you don’t do a Truthy post for 6 months lol.

I will end by saying once more that I’m incredibly thankful for my tribe (both near and far) for hanging in there with me. Beyond finding a good therapist, the right medicinal cocktail if needed, a balanced diet, sleep, and exercise… a good support system is critical to helping manage mental illness.

I actually wrote a little about that in my friend Andrea’s (fourth!) book, We Inspire Me, that was just released this month! This was a bit of a lazy book announcement lol, but I just wanted to mention it briefly since I was talking about the same thing :)

Ok, now I’m fiiinally ending this post, and hopefully the next Truthy won’t be another 6 months from now 💛

-Danni

Thankful | Washington, DC Lifestyle Photographer

Can I be real for a moment? Today has been one of the most stressful days I've had in a long while. 

Well... when I think about it, maybe it hasn't, but it sure felt like it.

I had an eearly early flight back home from Atlanta, and I lost my phone on the train :/

Although an inconvenience, that wouldn't have been a huge deal if I wasn't already sleep deprived and cutting it close getting to my gate. But that, combined with the busyness that was my last 4 days in Atlanta, knowing that I had a lot of work to do when I got back home, the Spring Mini Special opening tomorrow, texts, DMs, and emails to respond to, plans to finalize for this weekend's sessions, and... well, really I could go on... But, all of that settled squarely on my shoulders as I asked my gate agent for a printed boarding pass, trying to hold back tears.

I'm a pretty private person so crying in public is not something I tend to do. But that was all I could do in that moment because the brokenness I often feel, felt too heavy to bear in that moment.

Thankfully after a smooth flight and a beautiful sunrise, the flight landed safely. And after a long nap, I got a new phone (yay!). Although today (and this past week) have been extremely stressful, tonight, I'm making myself take time to count my blessings because I truly do have a lot to be thankful for.

I am thankful that Denni and I had a safe trip to Atlanta, wonderful clients to work with, beautiful weather... Thankful that I made it home safely... Thankful that despite my mental illness, I am gifted with the ability to capture genuine moments for my clients, work with fellow photographers, and make a living doing what I love... Thankful for dear friends and family who love and support me... Thankful to my God for life, and for showing his love for me, even when I feel undeserving...

This blog post ended up being quite a different one than I'd planned for today. I was all about sharing beautiful spring images with you this week, but sharing happy images when I felt anything but, just didn't seem right.

Tomorrow at 10a, booking for the Spring Mini Special opens exclusively for subscribers, so if you haven't already, you should totally join.

Thanks for hanging with me and reading about my crazy day! I'm looking forward to getting a long night's rest and starting this week on a better note 🧡

Studio 78 Podcast with Naché Snow | Features

Happy Wednesday loves, I hope your week + month are starting off wonderfully!

Mine has been kind of meh... I'm a bit overwhelmed with life at the moment and my anxiety response can sometimes be to shut down, so I'm trying to keep myself from sleeping the days away because that's all I want to do!

I am however, looking forward to this weekend when we will be regaining one, beautiful, precious hour of sunshine! Until then, I gotta hang tough.

This past Sunday, my wonderful client Naché emailed to let me know that my feature on her podcast would be going live this week and I was so nervous and excited! I don't think I've ever opened up in a forum like this before... which is a testament to Naché's warm interviewing skills :) It just felt like a nice chat with a good friend, and I'm thankful to her for having me on.

I feel like our episode is a bit like taking a peek behind the curtain. We talked about everything... how I got started with photography, impostor syndrome and how it’s taken time for me to fully own my artistry, finding my style... I also #talkaboutuncomfortablethings regarding about my personal struggles with mental illness and how I don't have it all together. 

...Then, this week ends up being a hard one 🙄 .

One of the questions Naché asked during the podcast was how I am able to push through/find balance dealing with my mental health and running a business and I shared my "secret" (hint: it's not one lol): I "push through" when I can, and rest when I can't. And although unplanned, thus far this week has been a "rest when I can't" kind of week... I'm headed to therapy this evening so hopefully that helps a bit.

I'm getting sidetracked though lol, I want to thank Naché again for having me on her wonderful podcast, Studio 78! She has interviewed 40+ women with businesses of all kinds- from fellow artists, creatives, and makers, to attorneys, business coaches, financial advisors, and more! But  like my episode, not all of them just cover business. Trust me, you will really enjoy subscribing and listing to Studio 78! 

Well, that's it for today! Check out my feature and let me know what you thought!