The Journey Continues | Truthy Thursday

Writing has been hard this year.

…honestly, everything has.

Depression has stolen more days from me than I’d like to admit and while I’m still trying to do my best, it can be quite deceiving to have it “appear” that I’m doing well because I’m still able to be “productive”.

Productive in quotes because while one thing may be getting done, 3 (or more) others aren’t 🙃. It’s a constant struggle trying to allocate and re-allocate where my energy goes when it shows up (thanks bipolar II!), managing work (and allll the many facets that come with owning and operating your own business), relationships, and trying to find and fine tune a wellness routine.

It’s exhausting.

Although mental health is being spoken about more these days (which is a VERY good thing), getting help for your mental illness is not an easy journey. I was diagnosed over two years ago and even after receiving a diagnosis, it took me a while to seek additional help for managing it. Often I find myself reasoning “well, I’ve been ‘dealing’ with it for this long, and managing to get stuff done, so it can’t be that bad” and although it may not be “that bad”, it’s still not good.

I often feel like I want to give up, but I’m thankful to my friends and family that haven’t given up on me, and as a result, I haven’t given up on myself.

Progress is not linear.

It’s such a simple sentence, but one that I’m truly learning to understand through and through. And in doing so, I’m learning to find solace in the small improvements I’ve been able to make and keep trying to find the right things to get and keep me on the track to wellness.

Speaking of which… trying to find the *right* therapist is… a journey to say the least.

I was in therapy about 10 years ago for almost 3 years and had a pretty good experience! After my diagnosis in 2016, anxiety kept me from pursuing therapy again and when I finally did, I was a bit more optimistic than I realized, and that led to disappointment.

I didn’t have realistic expectations, nor was I clear on what I needed from a therapist. Now, I am. The only thing about that is that they are both things I needed to learn over time and after having spoken to different therapists (and spending money 🙃).

I say all that to say that while having a therapist is indeed an amazing addition to your mental wellness plan, just know that it may take you a few tries to find one that’s the best fit for you. If you’re wondering where to start your search, I’ve used both Open Path and Better Help. The jury’s still out on whether or not I feel that I need an in-person therapist, but I definitely think both services are really helpful!

This post has been a little long, but I guess that’s what happens when you don’t do a Truthy post for 6 months lol.

I will end by saying once more that I’m incredibly thankful for my tribe (both near and far) for hanging in there with me. Beyond finding a good therapist, the right medicinal cocktail if needed, a balanced diet, sleep, and exercise… a good support system is critical to helping manage mental illness.

I actually wrote a little about that in my friend Andrea’s (fourth!) book, We Inspire Me, that was just released this month! This was a bit of a lazy book announcement lol, but I just wanted to mention it briefly since I was talking about the same thing :)

Ok, now I’m fiiinally ending this post, and hopefully the next Truthy won’t be another 6 months from now 💛

-Danni

Day 4 | Truthy Thursday

...It's been a slooow start to the new year for me.

This time is characteristically busy and full of excitement; New year, new opportunities, new goals! But all of that excitement seems to have been lost on me this time around.

Art by Fisayo Quadri

It all just feels like yet another day I have to muddle through. I know it is "just another day", but those "clean slate" feelings have escaped me completely, and I've been feeling kind of bad about that.

Honestly, it's still pretty tricky for me to actually "own" my bipolar 2 diagnosis and understand just how much it affects me :/ Sometimes I feel fine and I am able to get things done easily, be thoughtful, responsive... you know, normal adult things lol. Then (far more times), I feel quite the opposite of fine, and my accomplishments for the day are very minimal- just getting basic things done like: 

And not all of those things in one day lol. So while the world is excited about a new year, I'm just trying to manage consistently eating and actually getting out of bed when I wake up. 

Despite the daily mood and energy shifts, I am still chipping away at things and trying to be productive, so I guess that counts for something? It's just a long road to find exactly what works and what doesn't, so when I'm MIA for days or weeks at a time, that's why. I'm in the mix trying to figure this thing out... or just trying to make it through a crappy day.

While I inherently hope that 2018 will bring me closer to a better way of operating, I fully realize that it's going to take a LOT of effort, but I am ready for it and I look forward to seeing those improvements (no matter how small) in real time.

If you're feeling similarly about the new year, just know that you're not alone, and just like we got through 2017, we'll get through 2018. One day at a time 💚

-Danni

8 Years! | News & Updates

Good Thursday evening to you! Just stopping in with a lonnng overdue post...

It's been a while since my last update, but I've been busy trying to get my life together. Although I haven't made the effort lately to (publicly) #talkaboutuncomfortablethings, they are still very present. I began talking about my struggle living with mental illness last year when I was newly diagnosed, but this year I haven't done much sharing. Not because I am ashamed, I'm just tired. 

So much so, that every time I sat down to write this blog, it went a little something like this:

"Too busy managing to sit and talk about how you've been managing is very real." -Yodith D.

One step forward, three steps back, two to the side, a spin, and so goes the waltz with my mental health. Most times I don't know who the DJ is, much less what song is playing. So while my clients are taken care of, this post for a long while seemed like an immovable mountain that I could simply tip toe around. Jotting down an outline felt like too much. Selecting photos felt like too much. Typing coherent thoughts felt like too much... and now I kinda want to lie back down.

But I'm finallllly pushing through so... on with the updates:

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First up? DFinney Photography turned 8 years old earlier this month.... Eight!

I also turned 30 this month, and honestly, I can hardly believe that I've been at it this long. The majority of my 20's! I'm learning more and more every day that time works in its own strange way and this past year is no exception.

My wonderful clients have kept me busier than EVER and I couldn't be more thankful. In addition to creating beautiful imagery with clients I've come to love, these past 8 years have connected me with other like minded individuals who have become invaluable! You have been patient with me in my vulnerability and I can't express how much that means to me. I am so thankful to be apart of such a loving and supportive community. 

"In the midst of the ups and downs you go through, I hope you never lose sight of how truly loved and admired you are." -Samia M.

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What else, what else...oh yes! I was featured in the September/October 2017 issue of Click Magazine! 😬

I was contacted a few months back to do a short write-up and share a few photos for an article on my lifestyle business imagery! I'd honestly forgotten about it because things have been so hectic, but earlier this month I finally received the physical copy and I was ecstatic!

Like... this is an absolutely stellar publication. And to have MY work featured in it? I really can't fully express how much this means to me. It was an honor to be considered and I am so thankful for the opportunity!

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Before I go, I want to remind you that tomorrow is the official start of Fall! Andddd Fall Minis are on the way!

Fall Minis are being held on Saturday, November 4th and Sunday the 5th!

Booking for Fall Minis will begin on Monday, October 2nd at 10:30am EDT for those on the mailing list, and Wednesday, October 4th for everyone else. Now because Fall Minis book VERY quickly, I would suggest you join the mailing list if you haven't already, but that's merely a suggestion... a strong one lol.

Interested? Check out more info here. Details listed are for the Summer Mini Special, but the pricing and package info is the same. Fall details will be added on October 1.

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Well... I think that's it!

Thanks for hanging in there to the end with me :) I look forward to hearing from you soon and getting you on the calendar for your Fall session!

-Danni

February Musings | Truthy Thursday

It's been a solid 3 months since my last Truthy Tuesday/Thursday, soo here's an update of sorts.

Life is happening... all around me. And I try, but often it feels like I'm barely participating in it.

I took two months off from shooting from mid December to mid February with plans of catching up on creative projects that I started, but didn't complete last year, implementing new business systems, developing healthy habits, and otherwise trying to get my life together... aaand here we are. Now at the end of this period, and the list of things I've actually accomplished is quite small.

One of the biggest things I have trouble with is making accurate estimates of my energy and abilities, and this ONE thing is often my downfall.

Every day is different. And with that, needs to come an increased level of understanding and compassion- that I don't yet have with myself. I WANT to get things done, I don't WANT to stay in the bed, but I still beat myself up on the days I can't function as I would like to :/

Contrary to what I would like to think, progress and change are not easily quantifiable by neat measures of time... change happens in its own way. It's messy and exhausting. Uneven and disappointing. Trying and triumphant... A little bit of everything, honestly. 

Yet with that knowledge, it's STILL hard for me to accept that with a mental illness, I'm not completely in control of how quickly I can effect change. I have made some progress, but I would LOVE to have already mastered how to manage my low days, steady myself on the higher ones, and avoid/better manage the accompanying unpleasant feelings... but, I'm not there yet. 

This month makes one year since I received my diagnoses. And while a year SEEMS like a long time (though living it, may feel never ending), in the end, it's really no time at all. So, I guess this is my reminder to be patient and understanding with myself. And to appreciate the progress, no matter how small, that is being made ♥ 

How have YOU been handling life these past few months? I'd love to hear from you in the comments :) For my next Truthy, I will share some of the things that have been helpful thus far.

-Danni ♥

Truthy Thursday | Don’t Stop Talking About It

Good Thursday afternoon to you  ❤

It’s a gloomy day here in DC, but I’m trying to make the best of it :)

I wanted to drop in quickly with a follow-up to my post last month. I was so overwhelmed with the response it received! I honestly didn’t know what to expect, but I was touched by the personal stories that were shared with me and incredibly thankful that I am apart of such a wonderfully supportive community. 

I have always been appreciative of really honest stories and articles regarding mental illness, as well as artists and public figures speaking on their personal struggles. Since my diagnoses earlier this year, that interest has more than doubled, because instead of just having an interest, I understand what it’s like. 

We all know the stigma that mental illness has, so since I do have a very personal connection to it, I want to do my part of keeping the lines of communication open- in hopes that someone else can be helped to feel less weird about their mental illness or seek assistance in dealing with it. 

I don’t always have the energy, the words, or even the desire to speak about what I’m going through WHEN I’m going through it, but I am thankful for women like Bunmi Laditan and Bassey Ikpi (to name 2 specifically) that are able to beautifully articulate this not-so-beautiful struggle. It is incredibly helpful to read their posts because not only am I able to understand where they’re coming from, I appreciate their sharing in the first place, and there’s an added benefit of knowing that you’re not alone in this. Some days that helps and some days it doesn’t lol. 

But on that note (and the purpose for this post) I wanted to share some of the articles I’ve come across in the past few weeks that I’ve found really helpful. Hopefully you’ll find them helpful as well if you are struggling with depression, anxiety, or bipolar disorder. If you’re not dealing with any of these issues yourself, I encourage you to read these articles anyway as it may help you understand a little what your friend or family member may be going through.

‘My Body Spasms. I Think I’m Going to Collapse’

One of my favorite artists, I really appreciated this interview with Laura Mvula regarding her ongoing struggle with anxiety and panic attacks.

The Anguish of Depression: ‘I Am Trying to Stay Alive’

I appreciate Bassey Ikpi soo much for being such a vocal mental health advocate. Her writing is masterfully moving.

What Does Depression Feel like?

Though depression is a “common” issue, the symptoms aren’t always the same, nor is it easily described. I thought this was a very good article.

Living with Bipolar Disorder

This really hit home. Victor Pope Jr is one of my favorite online comedians and I am so appreciative of him sharing his struggle with bipolar disorder. Especially when it comes to addressing the pressure of always having to be “on”.

So, this was my share for today… Maybe I should just shift to Truthy Thursday because I don’t remember the last time I actually posted a Truthy on Tuesday lol. I hope you’re able to check out these articles when you have a free moment and I thank you for being apart of this beautiful community ❤

-Danni